Adventures in parenting, Part 2: Longing for some sleep

Posted On April 3, 2012

I’m writing this post while in a bit of a haze.

Actually, I’ve written all the posts on this site while in a bit of a haze. So if you find any typos, please excuse them, because I’m a dad of longstanding.

Let me explain.

Boy sleeping at wRanter.com — At least someone is getting some rest.

All the books and advice on parenting emphasize that the first year of parenthood can be as hellish as it is joyful, mainly because of the rest you’re not going to get enough of.

Newborns sleep at odd times, and you and your spouse will be at their beck and call at all hours. After a few months of this, you become addled and paranoid. And if you’re still married by the end, you deserve a medal. (Where can I pick that up, by the way? Never mind.)

It tends to get a bit better after about 12 months or so, when kids begin to develop sleep patterns you can count on. In the meantime, nap time – blessed nap time – gives parents the opportunity to either grab some sleep themselves or to do grownup stuff, like read the newspaper or watch a movie that’s neither animated nor involves puppets.

But the torture continues after their first birthdays, so that by the time your child is three of four, your intellectual capacity is probably 70 or 80 per cent of what it once was, and your brain may never be the same again.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that from age four up until about ages eight or nine – or maybe even until age 10 if you’re lucky, and if you can can hold your ground against the flood of incessant whining for later bed times – it should be possible to get your child (or children) to bed by 7:30 or 8 – 8:30 tops.

That leaves enterprising parents with three or four hours to themselves to pursue all kinds of adult activities. (Which means there’s nothing stopping you from indulging in the kind of behaviour that landed you with kids in the first place – and if you haven’t chosen to employ a nanny, or can’t afford to, you can engage in it anywhere in your home without fear of being caught by some semi-stranger. Just make sure you can bank on sound sleepers who don’t wander out of their rooms, unless you’re prepared to have an early version of “the talk” under the most awkward of circumstances.)

With luck (there’s that word again), this situation can persist for years. You get a modicum of daily adult interaction while still getting to sleep at a reasonable time.

Then they turn 11 or 12, and it’s game over.

That’s where we’re at right now with Primo, 14, and Secondo, 11.

Whereas the two of them used to both be in bed and sleeping by 8:30 or 9, the younger one is currently trying to push his bed time back as far as he can, so that 9:30 is often the best we can hope for, after all his protestations, stalling and other sundry shenanigans have run their course.

It reduces the best generic tadalafil chance of impregnating your woman. So if possible, they should go for the treatment without any hesitation. viagra 50mg online https://pdxcommercial.com/no-turning-back-portland-gas-coke-building-demolition/ He may also feel low and depressed because viagra no prescription canada of this issue. It also 50mg generic viagra boosts libido, stamina and energy levels. In the midst of this nightly mayhem, Primo, meanwhile, will be busy playing online computer games and not doing his homework until he absolutely has to (i.e., a deadline he’s known about for months is fast approaching).

As I write these lines, at 9:45 p.m., Primo is mid-way through an interview with his mom about his recent job-shadowing experience at her office. It’s a wonderful and touching example of quality mother-son bonding, except it should have happened well before tonight, as the assignment was due last Friday.

Teen on couch at wRanter.com — All of the sudden, the man-child is everywhere.

It’s heartening to see him take such an interest in his mom’s career in a way he’s never done before, and his dedication to his Grade 8 social studies homework is truly salutary, but it would have been more admirable at, say, 3 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon.

Right now, we’re looking at him hitting his pillow at around 11 p.m. at the earliest, which means that if his mother and I want to decompress alone together and still get some sleep, we’ll have a small 1-hour window before we turn into pumpkins at midnight.

This scenario plays itself on a daily basis in one form or another.

Some evenings, Primo, who is now an adult-sized 5-foot-8 and 150 pounds, might lounge on the couch in our den watching YouTube videos on his iPod, thereby preventing anyone else from using the space, lest they dare to poke the beast or hurt his feelings by asking him to move. (“Don’t you want me around? Don’t you like my company?” – well, the awful truth is that sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t, kind of like how you feel about our company these days.)

Or he might just hope that we forget he’s holed up in his room on his computer playing Call of Duty until late into the night, then pretend he lost track of time.

Since we have to get up each day at 6:30 to get the kids to school on time and make our ways to work, we’re usually working on a five- to 10-hour sleep deficit by the end of each week.

Multiply that by 48 weeks in a year (thank God we can afford sleepover camp) and the lost hours of sleep really start to pile up. Even with the occasional sleep-in – periodic gifts from a thoughtful spouse – we both feel chronically exhausted.

And we’re still near the beginning of what appears to be a long road. With Secondo just entering adolescence, we have at least seven more years of this to look forward to.

What’s that you say? All parents go through this? My story is nothing special? Quit my bellyaching? Suck it up?

Of course… yawn… that’s what we do… yawn… we’re parents, after all. We drink some coffee, suck it up and carry on. We do what we need to do…. yawn…